


Until You Heal

by 6ea



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anal Sex, Cheating, Drama & Romance, Exes, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Minor Character Death, Minor Jean Kirstein/Eren Yeager, Phone Sex, Requited Love, SO, Sexting, Slow Build, Violence, all that good shit, alternative universe, eren doesn't leave levi FOR jean, eren is a clueless little shit, i just needed someone to interfere with the ex fuckboys, levi is a jealous fuck boy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-15
Updated: 2016-09-08
Packaged: 2018-05-20 18:07:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6019879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/6ea/pseuds/6ea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren and Levi broke up five years ago with no intention of anything more than the occasional text to wish the best. However, Eren returns later with tragic news, leaving Levi unable to watch another man hold the only person he loves most. Fights break out, feelings ignite, jealousy uncovers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time officially transferring something from FF.N to AO3, so I'm nervous and excited at the same time!
> 
> Edit: I have changed the tags. Yes, there will be mild Jean/Eren, however this story is completely Eren/Levi.

There was nothing connecting him to the name Eren Jaeger anymore, besides a few old lonely texts he couldn't bring himself to delete. He had never moved on from the brunet, yet he watched his ex-boyfriend's facebook like clockwork. Every other week he'd check, usually on their slowest day. Wednesday afternoons is when he was most bored, and that always got him clicking around.

Of course the kid had moved on a long time ago. He was with someone else now, someone named Jean, and they hung out constantly with numerous faces Levi had, and hadn't, seen before. He was tagged in a photo almost every day. The small circle of just Armin and Mikasa had expanded since Eren moved to California and left Levi all alone in Oregon.

Granted, it wasn't far at all, but he never had a reason to visit Eren again. They had paid off the lease to their old apartment just recently, took custody of the two dogs (Eren got the pit bull, Levi stuck with the sloppy pug Eren picked up) and returned the engagement rings they had bought one another.

It was really a clean break-up. Neither of them cried much-not together, anyway. Admittedly, Levi sobbed like a fucking baby. He can remember the day Hanji had to force her way in and shovel him out of crumbled tissues and his dirty blanket. If it weren't for her, Erwin, Isabel and Farlan, he would probably be much lonelier than he cared to admit.

They did have a mutual friend, however, and that was Farlan. He kept Levi updated, reluctantly, on how Eren's life was going. The ravenet couldn't help his curiousity much when it came to that four lettered name slipping out of someone's mouth after a long day at work.

Despite that, Eren was no longer valid.

He was materialistic, just a piece of Levi's past to tuck away in the far right corner of his closet.

It was a Sunday morning, there were two birds outside of his window, tweeting away, irritating him to the point where he put earphones into his ears and turned up the volume. He scrolled around his paperwork, filing things here, made one or two calls through-out the day, but there's really only so much to do when you're an assistant for a lawyer who sits on his ass flirting with stray dogs all day.

He hadn't acknowledged much of anyone today, besides Hanji, who dropped him off a cupcake and a cup of coffee from Starbucks, which he thanked her with a slight smile. His phone vibrates occasionally out of the corner of his eye, but he focuses more on the dragging on text in front of him.

It's boring, but peaceful, and that's how he prefers it.

Until someone, obviously Hanji, grips his shoulders, shakes him voilently and rips his earbuds out.

He's got the nerve to turn around and roundhouse her, but she's mouthing something, clapping her hands with wide eyes and pointing to the elevator just three cubicals away. He narrows his eyes, shaking his head, he groans.

"Just speak," he grumbles.

"Eren!" She whispers. "I was watching the security tapes!"

"What?" He loses his breath. "He's in town? Here?"

"I don't know why!" She looks over her shoulder, her pony-tail whips him in the face. Before he can spit out her hair she's dancing away, tip-toeing as if she's actually got something to be caught in. "I'll be over here!"

He watches her stand across the office, pretending to be pre-occupied on her phone near the water cooler. Silver eyes avert to the on-coming elevator. Numers light up, each getting higher to the 6, the floor he's currently on. He swallows thickly, looks back to Hanji, then straightens his back.

Quickly, he brushes the crumbs off of his button-up, smoothens out the wrinkles in his pants near his thighs, combs his hair back, and takes a deep sigh. Should he stand up, or stay down? Pretend to be busy? What the fuck could he be here for, anyway? What does he honestly want? They settled everything.

His eyes narrow, he thinks to himself, glancing around the room absently as he tries to recall if he'd skipped out on anything. He hadn't seen anything important on Facebook... then again, he hadn't really seen anything recent. No photos that Eren has been tagged in, no status updates, nothing.

The elevator dings on his floor, and the metalic doors seperate slowly. He stands up for no reaosn, without thinking, and just his style to trip over the headphones he'd ripped out. He catches himself though, arm propped up on his cubical wall, face glazed with a nervous sweat.

And there it is.

There he is.

Faery pool eyes, swollen, irritated, his cheeks are wet, his hands are tucked into the old jersey hoodie they had gotten from the Titans game they saw, and some saggy sweatpants proved he was here on bad terms. He's coming closer now, and the closer he gets, the more Levi can see Eren's wrinkled chin and burning eyes.

"What the hell?" Levi asks aloud, face softening sympathetically. "Eren, what's wrong?"

The brunet says nothing, only comes toe to toe with Levi, shaking his head. Levi doesn't hesitate to pull the taller male into a hold, wrapping his arms around Eren's thin waist, rubbing circles into his back. Eren sobs once before burying his face into Levi's neck, his body trembling in his hold, voice just begging to form a sentence without a crack or cry.

"What made you come back here?" Levi asks quietly. "Talk to me."

Eren's hands grasp at the tight fabric of Levi's white dress shirt, his tears stain the collar, his running nose rubs against Levi's skin. Any other time, it may have disgusted him, but his heart ached to simply crumble with the man he loves.

And finally, the words form, Eren sucks in a deep breath, and inhales the two words out quickly without skipping a beat. He bursts into loud cries, his body shakes with every sob he makes.

_"Mom's dead."_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really happy that my first story here is doing much better than I thought it would be! c': Thank you everyone for kind comments and following.

He sat with his legs dangling over the dock, staring blankly at the rolling waves. The wind was picking up, and it had begun to sprinkle about 15 minutes ago, but neither of them had to balls to confront one another about picking up and moving. It was too serene, too perfect. With sun peeking out from the east, Eren's emerald eyes shimmered as he stared through it.

Levi sucked in deep breathes, seperated his lips to speak, but ended up licking them closed again.

Only when Eren's dull eyes blinked, and finally looked over at him, did his skin crawl.

"I came to you, because... I know you won't give me that pitiful bullshit," Eren drawls slowly, his voice rasp. He practically reads Levi's mind, and all the ravenet can do is simply nod and purse his lips. "Just let me know... if you have other things to do."

Levi's heart races at the comment, because it underlines so many more things than what the moment seems. The reason they ended it last time--he was too busy all the damn time. His mouth salvates from the bile churning in his stomach and his hands are so clammy he can barely fumble his thumbs together without his finger pads sticking together.

"I'm not busy," he says quietly, eyes averted. "I have plenty of time."

Out of the corner of his eye he can see Eren remove his sharp glare, and return to staring at the nothingness in the water. It goes quiet, before the brunet murmurs a quiet, "Alright."

"Eren...," he starts, shaking his head as he tries to find the right words exactly. He thinks of all the times he sat with Carla in the garden, over two cups of tea and conversation lasting hours. No way in hell could he imagine her sickly in bed. "When... exactly did this all start?"

"Well," Eren sighs heavily. "One day I came over for a visit. She asked me for my social security number, and my new address--since, I guess her mind was already starting to wander. Anyway, I gave it to her, jokingly thinking it was because she wanted to do taxes."

Levi relaxes a bit, and instead of picking at his nails, he holds onto the edge of the dock and sits up straight to better look at Eren.

"She was writing a will," he shrugs his shoulders. "And I guess I should have known then, but I just figured it was something everyone did once they reached the whopping age of 40."

"Oh, right... I forgot she was so young."

"Yeah, stupid me for not seeing it sooner." His voice becomes sharper with every word.

"You're not stupid." Levi says.

"I am."

"Not."

Eren huffs--not in the cute way he used to, not in a pouting way, but huffs in pure anger, as if he's at a loss for words. He holds both hands to his head and curls his fingers through chocolate hair, before bringing his head to his knees. Shaking his head, his body begins to tremble again, and Levi's heart wrenches at the repressed sobbing.

"Eren..." Levi feels his own eyes begin to burn. "I--" What can he say to make this better? "I'm--" He bites his lip, his breathing feels heavier than before. He hates this. He hates this so much. What the fuck do you say to someone when their mother just died?

What do you say, to the person you love, who no longer loves you?

He doesn't want to hear apologies.

What does he want to hear?

Now he wants to cry alongside him, despite having no reason to.

Slowly, carefully, and without much thought, he dares to reach a hand out and softly place it against Eren's back. In slow motions, he rubs circles, before extending further, wrapping his arm around Eren's shoulder and pulls the brunet in closer.

Is it still okay to touch him? At all? Like this?

"Come here," Levi whispers, drawing him in.

His answer is given when Eren wraps both arms around his neck, bringing his cold nose to Levi's neck. The position is damn uncomfortable, but he doesn't have the guts to move or complain. He let's Eren cry on him, even after the sprinkling has turned into rain, and even after rain turns into waves clashing against the dock, and it pours heavily.

* * *

  
It feels like hours have passed by the time they finally made it back into Levi's car. They're still parked. Levi's keys are still sitting idly in his right hand, with silver eyes staring at the collecting fog on his windshield. Even if he wanted to, he wouldn't risk driving in this kind of weather with Eren in the car.

"Are you staying?" Levi blurts to interrupt the silence. "In town, I mean."

"Yeah," Eren wipes his nose with his sleeve. "Jean is coming down tomorrow. We're renting a hotel."

"Ah." Jean. Of course. Levi had almost forgotten. "Where are you staying until he gets here?"

"Not mom's house," Eren snorts. "Probably... just going to rent a hotel room."

"Why not just stay with me?" It sounds more bitter than he means it to. Levi says it too quickly to even process the words before they came flying out of his mouth. His heart comes to a screeching halt, and he can practically feel the baffled look Eren is giving him right now. His mouth is dry now, and his hands are shaking while clenching his keys till it hurts.

And all he can hear is those words, those fucking words Eren had said to him years ago.

"You fucked up." A quiet mumble, enough to shatter his heart a million times over for the rest of his life.

The worst part is, the words never came, but he knew he screwed up.

Nothing ever comes.

Levi fumbles with the keys, finding the right one and shoves it into the ignition. He turns the car over, puts his hand over the shift to put it into reverse, and hopes to God he can drive in this condition.

He knows he can't.

His hands are trembling, his legs feel asleep, it's freezing cold and the rain is so thick he can't even see the hood of his car.

And just as he's about to reverse, a warm hand is pressed onto his.

He looks away from the rearview window, and looks at the brunet in his passenger seat.

"One night," Eren says so quiet, Levi isn't sure if he's hearing things. "I'll stay at your place tonight."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason, people aren't understanding that this will have mild Jean/Eren in it. So, I'm clarifying it here, as well, thanks to a rude anon on A03, that yes, Eren and Jean are together, but yes, this story is going to be Eren/Levi. I won't get into anymore, because I don't want to spoil anything, but just... ugh.
> 
> Anyway, thank you to everyone who has had nothing but lovely things to say. So far, I've only heard how "cliche" it is for Eren to be with Jean, and to "be more original" about it. But, I have to have someone interfering with Eren and Levi, right? Yikes.
> 
> Besides that! I woke up this afternoon, sick as a mutt, and saw so many lovely comments, it really made my day! I've found out my own father is sick, and he's not looking to good, so some of this story is personal, and the will thing was an actual experience. So this story means a lot to me.
> 
> I'm rambling though. uwu Thank you again. Replies are at the bottom.
> 
> Side note: I'm using OmmWriter, which I love, but I really hate that there's no autocorrect. So if you catch a mistake, please feel free to let me know!
> 
> **Muscial Theme:**
> 
> [Cuushe - I Dreamt About Silence](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25IQA48k3m0)
> 
> * * *

"Where's your car?" Levi asks, as they drive by the road his mother's house is on. He makes sure to avoid the main road, but admittedly, he had to use these roads to get to his own apartment.

"In the shop," Eren answers, obviously staring down the street sign as they pass by. "Jean is working on it."

"So he's a mechanic?" Levi wants to laugh. Not because he hates the career choice, no, Hanji was a mechanic once in her life, but he wants to laugh at how differently Eren's selections have gone. From business man, to a mechine rat.

"Yeah." He simply answers.

"So what's wrong with your car?"

"Head damage," he sighs. "It's gonna cost a fortune to fix, but luckily Jean is doing most of the work, so it won't be too much."

"Uh, hm." He hums. "And why not just buy a new one?"

"I don't have that kind of money, Levi." Eren snorts.

"Well, I do." It doesn't come out how he wants it to, so he takes his eyes off of the stormy road for only seconds to apolgetically glance over. "I mean... I could buy you a new car."

"That... no. It's okay." Eren stutters, taken back by the comment.

"Right, sorry." Levi sighs nasally.

"It's... okay."

He knows it's not. It was too forward of him, but he let's it go anyway.

"The offer still stands," Levi licks his lips, regretting to keep it going. Luckily, they're pulling into the complex now, and the conversation ends when Levi stops Eren from opening his mouth again. "Well, this is it."

"Another apartment, huh?" Eren chuckles. "Why didn't you just keep ours?"

Too many memories—it hurt him to even get out of bed and find that Eren was still missing. The last time they had been in that place together, was when Levi offered to help fit everything inside of a U-Haul and wish Eren luck in another state.

"Just... enjoyed the scenery here." He inwardly groans. There's nothing to see here but pine trees and grey buildings. He ruffles his wet hair and groans at the disgusting feeling he'd almost forgotten about, his clothes still clung to his body. They both smell like wet dogs. "I think I still have some of yours clothes, you can shower and change into them."

"That's the best news I've heard all week."

And Levi wouldn't doubt it.

"Hold on, I'll get your door," Levi says, shutting the engine off. He steps into the still pouring rain and hurries to the other side.

As soon as he opens the door, Eren hops out, slams the door shut and grabs Levi's hand before bolting towards the overhang of the complex. Eren playfully screams when he steps into a puddle-much deeper than he must have thought it to be, and Levi can't help but to grin at the feeling of Eren's hand desperately trying to hold onto his.

"Fuck!" Eren breathes when they make it into the clear. He laughs as he looks down at his soaked pant leg. "That sucked."

"Come on," Levi chuckles lightly,

"I hope you left the heater on," Eren follows Levi up the stairs, to the second floor where Levi stops at apartment number 23.

He unlocks the door, swings it open, and they sigh in unison when they step iside, kick their shoes off and shut the door behind them.

"Fuck, it's freezing in here!" Eren exlclaims.

Levi flips the light switch once, and groans when nothing happens. Again, and again, and again, as if it's magically going to work.

"Power's out." Levi says. "Shit."

"Think the hot water still works?"

"I have no idea."

"Even a cold shower sounds nice at this point, anyway." Eren grumbles.

"I'll get you some clothes," Levi waves for Eren to follow him, and leads him to the dark bathroom. There's not a window to provide light. "And a candle. Just stay put."

Eren opens his mouth to speak, but as soon as Levi swings open his bedroom door, out comes a ball of wrinkles and slobber, followed with an exclaimed, "Bean!"

The ravenet rolls his eyes at Eren's incoherant baby talk. Eren kneels to catch the mutt's excited little trot.

He drifts into the bedroom and spreads his window curtains to see better. The large box in the right corner, he pulls it out, and dreadfully opens it to meet pictures of a smiling couple that is no longer them. Shaking his head, he brushes them to the side, and pulls out the grey sweatpants that still smell like their old apartment, and pulls a black shirt from his own wardrobe.

Luckily for both of them, Levi is a collector of candles, and grabs one off of the top of the dresser in his room, along with a lighter.

He meets Eren again, now content with petting his pup, and raises to take the armfull of things.

"The shirt's mine, but, it should fit."

"I remember these," Eren laughs at the sweatpants. "I've been looking for them. Costed me damn near 30 bucks."

"That's not all you left here. Bean got a hold of those green shoes you liked so much."

"No!" Eren mockily gasps. Eren turns to sit everything down on the bathroom counter, and continues to talk from the other room as Levi walks towards the livingroom. "Not my baby. What an asshole! Backstabber!"

Levi chuckles to himself. He opens his mouth to reply, but the bathroom door interrupts him when it closes. He sighs sadly to himself, and listens for the shower to start.

"Levi, it's so fuckin' cold!" Eren shouts from the other room, and Levi snorts to himself as he collects their wet shoes.

He heads back to his bedroom and closes the door behind him as he strips off his drenched clothes. The shoes, and clothes, all go into one basket that he kicks into the corner for later. He sprays himself with some cologne, wipes himself down with an old towel and slips into some of his old basketball shorts and a sweater.

His eyes somehow can't stay away from the open box mocking him now.

Slowly, he kneels down to inspect what he hasn't looked at in years.

Now probably isn't the best time to do this... yet he feels like he's on autopilot when his hand digs into the box and pulls out a photo album, decorated with cartoonish rings and champange glasses on the front. They personally customized it to say "The neverending works of Eren & Levi" over the front, in huge, bold letters.

It made his stomach twist.

_Their story did end._

He flips open the cover, and the first page is covered with pictures they'd taken on their cellphones from the first week they started dating. They were in their junior year of highschool, before Levi had shaved underneath his hair, and had a head of black, choppy hair. Eren's hair was shorter, less highlighted and more darker, but everything was still the same.

They were playing one of those dancing simulators at an arcade, Mikasa had taken this picture.

Another of them at the movies, in the lobby, Eren had taken the picture, and Levi was looking away at something while Eren beamed.

He flipped through some more. There was one from Valentines day, back when putting stickers on pictures was a cool thing to do. He laughs at the shitty red hearts over both of their eyes while they smiled during their dinner date.

From Halloween, to Thanksgiving, to Christmas, Levi's birthday, then Eren's, there's so many pictures.

He flips to the third to last page.

Eren's hand, a pretty ring sitting on his middle finger with his smiling, but tear stained face, in the background.

Before that, a photo of Levi, holding a sign asking "Will you marry me?" surrounded by different faces. Carla, the one that sits out the most. Armin, Mikasa, Connie, Hanji, everyone. They were at a high school reuinion party that Eren held at his mom's house. It was a shitty idea. Levi wished he had done it more formally, but this all seemed right.

The last photo in the book was a photo of Eren sitting in one of their lounge chairs on their old balcony. Both dogs laid beside him, he had sun glasses covering his eyes, but his smile was as pearly as ever. With a book in one hand, and iPod in the other.

He hears the bathroom door click open, and Eren's voice seems muffled.

His ears are ringing.

"Levi?"

He shuts the book quickly, and sets it back into it's box.

But by the time he looks up like a deer in headlights, Eren is already standing in the door frame with sopping hair, a towel in his hand and Levi's shirt loose on him.

"Oh," is all Eren says.

"I found it... while getting your pants." Levi can feel the warm tears beginning to collect. He hugs his arms to his stomach and looks down with a wry laugh. "I couldn't help myself."

What he expected, was something along the lines of: What a fucking creep, you still have that shit?

But he got a quiet laugh.

"Well, don't keep me waiting, I want to look at it, too."

His heart skips a million and one beats, he swears to God he could laugh in complete hysteria right then and there if it weren't for the fact he'd scare the shit out of Eren. Instead, he tightens his lips to swallow thick, repress his laughter and wipe his cheeks. Quietly, he pulls the book back out, while Eren interrupts him and grabs the entire box.

Before he can even stand, Eren is dumping all of the contents out on Levi's freshly made bed.

He can't even argue that he had it all organized, because Eren instantly lights up, sits cross legged on the bed and begins sorting through it all.

Hesitantly, Levi sits beside him, both of them on their proper sides of the bed. Eren always got the left side, because it was farther away from the alarm clock, and Levi got the side with the lamp, because he stayed up reading most nights.

"I remember this," Eren pulls a small chain with a metalic, red painted rose charm. "You got me this for senior prom!"

The brunet laughs, turns his back to Levi and holds it over his shoulder.

"Help me put it back on."

Fuck.

He takes it with shaking hands, pulls the chain around Eren's neck and let's his hands glide across the soft skin on Eren's shoulders and the crook of his neck. Chills run across both of his arms, and it's becoming much more harder than it should be to lock the damn necklace in place. It takes a dictionary of cursing and two minutes before he finally gets it, much thanks to Eren's patience.

He lingers his hands even after it's locked, and gently pulls some of Eren's stray hairs away from the chain.

Eren smells like his soaps now.

"There," Levi says, smoothening the chain around Eren's neck just to feel him again.

Eren replies in laughter, he turns back around, holding a hand over the charm that hangs between his collar bones.

"Oh, I wonder if you kept...," Eren trails off, running his hands over the piles of things. His hand stops over an overturned photo, and the reminder of what it is sparks inside of Levi's mind far too late. He seperates his lips, inhales sharply and extends his hand to stop Eren, but it's far too late.

Eren is frozen, staring down at the image.

There was a reason Levi hadn't put this photo into their album.

And yes, he was a fucking pervert for keeping it.

He knew Eren was thinking the same thing.

"Eren, I didn't know that was in there." Levi deadpans, a lie, completely.

He knew very well, and he shamefully kept it close on lonely nights.

Six years ago, Levi bought his first professional camera, to better fill up their album.

For some reason, they had thought it was a good idea... to pose Eren, laying on his back, arms behind his head, a wanton look over his face. Blush stained his cheeks, and Levi had personally glazed him with oil before snapping the photo. The boxers he wore in the photo were obviously stiffling an erection underneath, which Eren's hand was just barely slipping under the hem to expose.

"Wow." Eren chuckles nervously.

"I... really... didn't know... I still had that."

"Sure," Eren snorts, an amused smile on his face. Levi's face flushes, and his mouth drops in horror.

"I didn't!"

"I don't believe you!" He singsongs, waving the photo around in Levi's face mockingly.

"Eren!" He whines, shoving the brunet nearly off the bed. He snatches the photo while Eren is lost in laughter, and slips it into the photo album before slamming it shut.

"Oh my God," Eren wipes away the amused tears. "It's just like you, too."

"Shut up." He growls, hiding his face with one hand. "I'm glad this is funny to you."

"Oh, it is. I can't wait to tell Hanji!" He snickers when Levi's glares.

"Hanji is my friend, you can't have her." He teases.

"Oh, please, Hanji loves me much more."

"Tch." He crosses his arms. "Probably."

They go quiet again, Levi, due to the horror he just had to sit through, and Eren, because he's preoccupied in flipping the pages of the photo album and sorting through old things.

Almost two hours have passed with mindless conversation-and more teasing about the photo, before everything is packed up again and they're simply sitting on the bed, watching the room turn into a golden, pinkish hue from the sun going down.

"I wonder when the power will come back on," Eren sighs, having been under the blanket for a while now.

"Probably not until tomorrow afternoon," Levi sighs.

"I'd offer you to come to the hotel... but Jean will probably be angry enough as is." Eren shrugs. He rolls over onto his side to face Levi, resting his head on his hand.

"Yeah, well." Levi mumbles.

"Do you want to get coffee before I head back home, though?"

"Maybe." Levi tries not to get his hopes up anymore. "We'll see."

"Yeah..."

"Eren, tell me something." Levi sternly coughs out what he's been wanting to say. Eren hums in acknowledgement. Silver meets a curious green, and Levi scoots down to eye level with Eren, resting his head on his own pillow. Softly, he takes a deep breath and asks, "Just tell me... did you leave me... for him?"

Eren smiles, closes his eyes and breathes deeply before shaking his head.

"What would even make you think that?"

"I don't know," he lies. "You just... up and left. Next thing I know... you're living with another guy."

"I didn't... want...," Eren sighs in frustration. His brows furrow.

"It's fine." Levi cuts him off. "I understand."

He really didn't, but watching Eren squeeze his eyes shut and avert his gaze repeatedly was getting... irritating.

There was only one thing he wanted to hear Eren say, and the brunet wasn't going to say it, so he didn't want to hear anymore.

"What time are you leaving tomorrow?"

"Jean says he'll get here around 9 AM. I... probably shouldn't have him drive him here though."

"Why not?" Levi sarcastically snorts. "Either way he's going to have to see me."

"I... okay... you're right. Maybe this was a bad idea, then. Maybe we should go to a hotel tonight."

"That's not what I meant," Levi swallows nervously. "I'm not going to bite."

"Yeah, well, he might..."

"I'd like to see him try."

Eren mumbles something, before smiling, burying his face in the pillow and slightly shakes his head.

Levi's eyes wander down to Eren's fingers, absently playing with the necklace.

Slowly, a smile creeps over his face, and he feels Eren's warmth radiating from the other side of the bed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi confesses he fucked up, Eren is a little shit and gives Jean Levi's address while giving Levi mixed ass signals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this before my trip to Seattle to meet my best friend of 11 years for the first freaking time (we fkin met on Crunchyroll ffs) and so I was crazy excited, I think I rushed a lot of it and I definitely made this more short than I wanted to, however I haven't really seen anything fit to change. Call it a filler chapter?
> 
> Blech, anyway, the newest chapter is halfway done! So I'll be making up for this dunce chapter, I promise.

He woke up slowly, but his feelings regained all at once when he felt delicate fingers tickling his spine.

It was just how Eren had always woke him up, starting with soft touches, and then massaging his back in the morning after he'd had a long day at work the night before, and damn it, it brought a whole lot of shit flooding back.

He remembers taking his shirt off last night, but he hadn't thought the process through then.

His back was still turned, so he tried to play asleep for as long as he could while Eren's fingers dipped lower, stopping at the hem of of his sweat pants, and grazed over the dimples in his lower back playfully. His hand traveled to his ribs, where it became difficult to keep from wiggling at his ticklish spot. He squeezed his eyes closed and bit his lip, thankful when Eren's hand moved to his shoulder, down his arm.

It stopped at where his forearm met his hips, and his fingers danced over the bit of flesh revealed on his hip bone.

This, is where he could no longer hold back.

He exhaled deeply, finally getting a full effect of chills as Eren's hand came dangerously close to the dip of his

"Good morning," Eren's soft voice revealed his cover had been blown.

"Hey," Levi rolled onto his back, pleased with the sight of messy chocolate brown hair and a radiant blush over Eren's cheeks. "Good morning."

"Jean is going to be here in about 15 minutes." Eren looks as if he regrets saying it when Levi's smile stiffens.

"How long have you been awake?"

"About an hour now... I didn't want to wake you."

"You should have," Levi sighs, averting Eren's apologetic gaze. "We could have gotten coffee."

"I'm sorry," Eren says. "I'm, uh, actually staying for a few days. The funeral will be in about a week, so I figured... why go back?"

"Just text me the address, and I'll be there." Levi purses his lips. "And if you get bored between then, you know where I am."

"Yeah," Eren smiles, "I'll text you."

With eyes closed, Levi sighs, and absorbs the silence in the room until his ears ring. It's... so dissapointing.

"Is Jean pissed?" Levi finally asks.

"Well... yeah." Eren snorts. "Very much so."

"So, I probably won't see you again." He tells himself to stop, but the scowl on his face keeps his attitude sour. "This is probably it."

"What do you mean?" Eren shakes his head.

"This is it, I won't see you again, you'll run off and marry this guy and forget about me," he rambles on about his pity party, scoffing when Eren resumes to shake his head.

"Levi, is there... something you want to talk about?" Eren wrinkles his brows. "I didn't cheat on you, I didn't leave you for him--why are you so... bitter about this?"

"Really, Eren, you need me to say it?"

"Yes." He deadpans.

Levi narrows his eyes, frowning deeper at the half-assed smug, yet sympathetic, look on Eren's face.

He knows.

Of course he does.

But... does he feel the same way?

He doubts it.

"I don't want to talk about it." Levi shrugs.

"So there is something." Eren sighs. "Talk about what, exactly? You're keeping me in the dark, here."

"Eren, you know, so don't play dumb."

"I don't!" He sits up on his elbow. "I mean--I might, but I don't know! I think I do, but fuck, if I don't know, then I can't do anything, can I?"

Levi clenches his teeth and closes his eyes in hopes that when he opens them, his life will just be back to the normal that he had it.

Slowly, he opens them, and God damn it, Eren is still here.

The brunet always had a bad temper on him.

He was seething, obviously, staring down hard at him expecting something to work with.

Levi takes a deep breath, before exhaling shakily.

"I regret it, alright?"

"What?" He asks, esassperated.

"I... should have... been... it." He puts the words together as they come to him, his eyes flickering all over the room to brainstorm a way out of this. Ultimately, it's not working, and he's got to piece the truth together. Eren is still looking at him with an expecting expression, eyebrows raised and eyes hooded..

"It?"

"I should have..." He pauses, trying to be discreet won't work, and Eren won't leave him alone until he knows. The little shit never forgets. "I should have been better. I should have done... something. I should have stopped you."

"Stopped me from what?"

"Leaving." He breathes the word out, showing the relief off of his chest.

"Leaving... here?"

"Leaving...," he pauses again. Not because he doesn't know the next word, but because his heart rate is beginning to go up again and his mouth is going dry. He breathes in, slowly, carefully. He stares at the popcorn on the ceiling, trying to make faces as he collects himself, and lowers his voice, to finish. "Me."

The room is painfully silent now, and Levi can't even force himself to look over at the brunet. He's too scared to.

The ringing is back, and it's louder than ever.

Did Eren hear him?

It's not like him to go this quiet.

The next thing he hears, is his doorbell ringing.

He feels the rage build up in the core of his chest all at once. A small vibration starts in his heart, and his hands begin to shake as heat spreads through every nerve ending in his body.

"I'll get it...," Eren mutters.

He already knows who it is, but he listens in anyway as he hears the door swing open with a quiet squeak, and Eren happily exclaims, "Hey!"

"Are you ready?" Comes the voice, Levi can assume it's Jean.

"Yeah, let me just get my things."

"Alright."

"Do you want to come in, or...?"

Levi rolls out of bed when he hears Jean answer yes, and in seconds he's sashaying defensively into his livingroom. The guy--Jean--the scrawny, lanky, preppy looking bastard is standing in his livingroom, smiling at his ex-boyfriend, and then looking up at him.

It's like lightening has clashes between them. Naturally, Levi's eyes are sharp on him, and the tension bubbles up to their necks immediantly.

"Oh...," Eren chuckles quietly, "Jean, this is Levi, Levi... this is... Jean."

"Nice to meet you," Jean waves half-assed. His face flares when he registers the fact that A. Levi is shirtless, and B. Eren is staring, and finally, C. Eren was wearing a shirt, that obviously wasn't his.

"Likewise." Levi says sharply, sarcasm dripping from his lips. He crosses his arms and leans against the corner of the hallway.

"I'm... just going to get my stuff," Eren looks back to Jean, smiles and brushes past Levi to return to the bedroom.

He gives Jean one last look before following Eren, and leaves Jean standing in the doorway. Jean doesn't seem too happy about it.

Eren is the one who shuts the door behind them. It takes Levi off gaurd.

"We're not done talking about this." Eren whispers. "Tomorrow. When do you get off of work?"

"Around 4 PM." He answers without thinking. His mind is still hot-tempured.

"Then we're going out for coffee. I'll text you the hotel." Eren finalizes, and grabs his things from the dresser. "And stop glaring at him, Jesus Christ, you're going to make him paranoid."

Levi shrugs at this, pouting.

"Seriously, try to be nice."

He looks away, sighing when Eren swings the bedroom door open and informs Jean that he's ready.

The front door opens again, then shuts with a soft click.

It takes him 10 minutes of staring at the floor to finally come back to reality.

He rubs his eyes and groans into his hands before leaving the bedroom and heading for the kitchen where he pulls his phone from the charger and checks a few texts from Erwin and Hanji. Isabel left a voicemail, and someone left him a message on Facebook. He checks Hanji's messages first, just something stupid about work, also wanting to know about Eren.

He replies quickly.

[To] [Hanji] Come over. Chinese and beer night. Tell you about it then.

It takes her 30 minutes to reply, but he's already starting his pre-game with a flat beer from his fridge, in front of the TV, watching some mindless garbage.

[From] [Hanji] Sorry, I was in the shower. Be there in 30

[To] [Hanji] K

If there was one thing about Hanji, it was that she was a speeder, and when she was curious, she was 10 times as bad. So that 30, ended up being roughly 16 minutes, and she probably didn't even lock up her car. She texts him when she's outside, and he replies to tell her to come in.

When she walks in, he can't hide it.

She starts off with a smile, with beer in one hand, and a bag of Chinese in the other.

She freezes at the rare sight, her smile comes to a screeching halt.

He looks up from the sofa, his head to his knees. One hand is gripping the arm of the couch, while the other covers his mouth.

"Levi...," She lowers her hands, her voice goes soft. "Why are you crying?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caught in the aftermath of the act. Maybe one more night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By updating soon... I meant immediately, because I'm aggravated with updating FF.N and Ao3 separately tbh. I keep forgetting to do one or the other and it just throws me off asdofj

_Work... I have to go to work._

That was Levi's first thought as silver eyes peeled open and an ice pick migraine resided behind each ear. His apartment was trashed considering it had only been Hanji over last night. Beer cans were disposed of all around his sofa, ramen noodles were split on the coffee table and the air smelled like Hanji's bad breath.

He wondered if there was any oxygen left in his house with her mouth gaping wide open and snoring like a bear. She was sprawled out on the floor near the TV, where she usually slept anyway regardless of drunk or not. She always loses her glasses and insists sitting closer to the TV does no harm.

He scoffs at this as he sits up and rubs circles on both temples. Eren's pug is fast asleep next to a disposed box of noodles and a stain is leading from his mouth to the box. The ravenet figures out the real culprit in all these messes. Damn Eren for this mutt.

There was no way in hell he was going to be able to clean or wake Hanji up in time before he had to go to work; he realized as he glanced at his phone. The time was already 2 PM, and he needed some asprin and a hot bath.

Beginning his slow walk to the kitchen he kept his eyes glued to his phone as he got a text from Eren. It was at 7 AM this morning.

**[From] [Eren]**

**Jean will be out tonight. Late night coffee?**

He sent a quick confirming text.

**[To] [Eren]**

**Usual place? What's your hotel address? I'll pick you up at 8. It's a short shift.**

That didn't seem too desperate, did it? He figured not, as he sent the message and ignored a text from Isabel and his mom. Though, skimming it, it seems like she had figured out about Eren's mother dying and asked about him, saying she'll be in town this weekend and hopes to see the both of them. He'll have to tell Eren.

He sits his phone down on the kitchen counter, plugging it in and grabs the asprin from the shelf over the stove. Popping two in his mouth, he swallows them down with a quick glass of water and tries to make it to the bathroom without giving himself whiplash.

They didn't even drink that much last night, but he does faintly remember Hanji puking up her chinese. Thankfully it must have all made it in the toilet because there's not much of a mess there, though he does a quick wipe down of it before occupying the bathroom.

The bath fills as he cleans, and he's careful taking off his clothes and locks the door behind him. The water is just as hot as he's always liked it; it turns his olive skin a refreshing shade of pink and he sinks into the tub until his nose is just above the water.

It's not so much about cleaning himself as it is getting the crick out of his neck and grease off of his face. He milks out the warmth for as long is it will go, until the water has gone lukewarm, and then cleans himself quickly.

Not much can be helped about his ache, but he's thankful to be clean by the time he gets out.

It's 3 PM by the time he gets out, and he dresses quickly in a white button up and black slacks. The job doesn't require formality; in fact Erwin has said he wouldn't mind them showing up in pajamas (which Hanji does as much as she can) though Levi rather likes to keep his image crisp, therefore no one messes with him.

He got back to his phone as soon as he was done, and checked the reply from Eren from 30 minutes ago.

**[From] [Eren]**

**Sounds good! God I miss those mochas...**

Smiling at his phone, he shoves it into his pocket and tries not to think too much about Eren's plump little lips blowing the steam off of his perfectly decorated cup of coffee. The shop owner was Sasha, one of their mutual friends, but more so Eren's at this point. She always decorated his with a little whipped cream cat face and paws over the cup. He loved it so much, and Levi is more than certain it has made it's appearance in at least a dozen of their photos.

He wants to reply right now but can't due to stressed time. One last time he checks on Hanji, and she's still passed out. She has a spare key for emergencies, so it's not like he needs to wake her anyway. She's thankfully smart enough to lock the door on her way out and always has, so no worries there. He exits his apartment with relief and hurries down to his car.

When all is said and done he makes it to work on time; thankfully, considering traffic was worse than usual. More than anything he's thankful for such a short shift. All Erwin needed was a few documents written out and signed before sending them off. It wasn't hard work; mostly he just received Erwin's calls and e-mails for sponsors and those in need of a good attorney. _Smith Corporate_ was the name. It was boring work, but $20 an hour and free coffee made it worth while.

He shot a few greetings on his way to the elevator and joined some blank faces on his way up. It wasn't until he got to the 7th floor that everyone shifted in their seats to look at him. This worried him; because people only do that if you're in trouble, or being fired. To Levi's memory, he hadn't fucked up anything, and if he did, Erwin wouldn't fire him over it. They were too good of friends.

Quietly, he stepped out of the elevator, locking eyes with Isabel across the way. Her heels were clicking towards him faster than he could acknowledge her.

"Levi," she has a hand over her heart and knitted brows. "I heard about Eren. Is he okay? Are _you_ okay?"

"Oh," he breathes, instantly relieved. So that's what this was about? Everyone was worried about the scene. "Everything's fine I suppose. Eren is upset, naturally."

"Well, shit, who wouldn't be?" She's the only one who can make a dirty mouth seem angelic with her soft voice. "Are you okay, though?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" He brushes past her, but walks beside her to make his way to his cubicle. They both make it there, and Levi slumps into his office chair.

"Well, you know." She shifts her weight to one leg and folds her arms before shrugging. "You never really seemed to let go there. Are you two handling this okay?"

"Just fine," he lies. He's more ashamed with himself for even letting Hanji see him in that shitty state. He hates making people worry; there's no point to it. Despite their worry or not the outcome of a situation will still be the same. "He just needs a familiar face to get him through this."

"Better you than anyone else, right?" She laughs quietly when Levi shrugs. "Just let me know if I can do anything, alright? You know... I still like the kid. I think you two would have-actually, nevermind. Shut up, Isabel." She shakes her head.

"I know, I know." Levi waves it off, turning to face his computer. He wakes it up, wishing it would load up faster. "It's nothing I can't handle, really. I'm fine."

"Alright." She sighs. "Well, Erwin was asking about you, too. In fact... everyone is asking about you. Farlan is worried most. You should call him later."

"I'm meeting Eren later," he blurts out, mostly because it's satisfying to watch her mouth shape into a wide grin.

"Hound-dog." She grumbles before rolling her eyes. "Whatever, and here I was worrying."

"I told you, nothing to worry about." He says as-a-matter-of-factly.

She dropped it shortly after the phone at her desk began ringing, and she hurried back to doing what secretaries do best; typing a million miles per hour and trying their best to hold their tongue while on the phone with idiots who drunk drove with a DUI. He could hear her voice become shrill after about an hour, but it was amusing none the less and made his day go by faster. Seems a lot of idiots were calling, and sadly Levi had to deal with a few too.

Erwin was away on a trip, making his day that much easier. If Erwin were able to lecture him now there was no way he'd let Levi leave. Overtime. Forever. Until Eren goes home. At least, that's what Levi guesses would happen.

Four hours seem to drag on despite that. He checks his phone occasionally, but tries to keep it away so time won't slow down. A watched kettle never boils. So he keeps his hands on his keyboard and the phone at his ear always. After this day he should get a damn promotion.

The clock reaches 7:59, and Levi has already signed out of his computer, got the address from Eren and pressed the down button for the elevator. He hates to admit to himself that he's walking slightly faster just to get to his car. But once he gets in, his heart begins racing, and it's probably got half to do with how much cologne he's sprayed on himself. His hands are sweaty on the steering wheels and his foot feels jittery on the gas peddle.

Anxiety was eating at him. Fuck, he hasn't been this anxious for so long.

_Nothing will happen._

But it's Eren; Eren Jaeger, the one who got away, the one Levi will walk to the end of the world just to get another chance with. The one who he was supposed to marry, and still wants to avail in that to this day.

_But nothing will happen._

He keeps reminding himself of that.

Still he's mentally arguing with himself once he pulls up to the hotel. It's nothing fancy, although he'd expect nothing more from Jean's pocket. There's too many rooms to guess, and Levi didn't ask, so he texts Eren to let him know that he's here, and gets a quick 'otw' reply. While he waits, he flips the dash to reveal his mirror and smoothens out his hair, shirt collar and pops a breath mint.

He flips the mirror back up, and on the second floor he spots a head of chocolate hair waving over the railings. Eren probably can't see into his car because of the darkness but he waves back anyway and watches Eren hurry down the stairs wearing a loose baby blue hoodie and khaki skinny jeans tight enough to distract Levi already.

_Should I get out of the car? That would be weird, right? Then what? A hug?_

Chewing the inside of his mouth, he waits for Eren to round around to the passenger side once he decides to stay and keep the car running. The brunet simply opens it and folds in with an exhale and a smiling, "I charge by the hour."

"Oh," Levi sheepishly grins. "Well I don't have any cash with me, will a mocha from The Smiling Titan do?"

"You're in luck, that's _exactly_ what I charge in." Eren rolls his eyes while putting his seat belt on.

"Does it _have_ to have a cat face?" Levi feign whines as he pulls out of the parking lot.

"Mmm," Eren purses his lips. "Yes. Without a doubt."

"Ugh, fine."

"Pft," Eren giggles, slapping Levi's arm playfully before he rests his head on his hand, his elbow to the arm rest of the seat. "So how was work?"

"The usual. Isabel asked about you, she says she's there if you need her," although those weren't her exact words, and they weren't for Eren essentially, Levi knows she would really be there. "Also my mom texted me. She wants to see us both soon."

"Your mom wants to see me...?" Eren asks, and when Levi nods, he hums. "Huh. I didn't think she'd like me anymore after our breakup."

"Well you didn't really do anything wrong," he scoffs. "She asks about you more than you know."

"Oh, well, I guess we should meet up with her before I head back home, then."

"She'll be down this weekend; will you still be here?"

"I'll be here for another week." Eren answers.

"Perfect," he chimes. "Then I'll text her and let her know. She probably misses your company anyway."

"If you say so," Eren singsongs.

Levi rolls his eyes, but thankfully they pull into The Smiling Titan, greeted with an illuminated sign of an ugly face, smiling with a cup of coffee underneath it's chin, and almond eyes glaring down at it. No one knows why Sasha chose such an ugly design, but it kind of fit and was catchy; plus the coffee was good, so there were no complaints.

He parks the car, and shuts off the engine. As usual Eren waited in the passenger seat while Levi got out and came around to open his door. He locked it, resisted the urge to hold Eren's hand just dangling beside him and tried his damn hardest to forget all the times they walked hand in hand to the front door, carried away in chatter.

Now it was a tense sort of silence over them; neither of them were saying anything, Levi kept his hands in his pants pockets and Eren hid his in his hoodie. The first thing Eren said was "thank you" when Levi held the door open for them.

After that, it was all screaming. Sasha started off with her usual, "Welcome to The Smiling Titan!" but got cut short when her voice got caught on her throat and her eyes landed on Eren. She slapped her hands to her cheeks and gasped before letting out the most eardrum shattering screech.

"Eren!" She exclaimed, nearly tripping over the rug just to pull him into the most bone crushing hug. "It has been so freaking long! Where have you been! Well-I know where you've been, but how have you been?"

"Good, good!" He laughs into her shoulder. By the time he can free his arms she's already pulled away to get a better look at him. "I'm glad you're still open. I've missed the coffee-and you, too... but mostly the coffee."

"How rude." She huffs. That quickly changes into a smile, however. "Didn't you hear? We're open 24/7 now, baby! They opened a college down the road from here, it's the best business Connie and I have ever had!"

"That's good to hear," Eren muses. "I heard about that, too... I thought about joining. They seem to have a good variety of arts and science. Much more than the one I'm thinking about."

_Was that a joke? Did Levi hear that right? Is his heart still beating? Inwardly, he begs, yes, join, please. They have the best science and arts and whatever the fuck it is you're talking about; the best in the world._

They're deep in conversation, and Levi has far tuned out of it, until Sasha calls his name and catches his attention.

"How have you been?" She's asking him now. She's much less ecstatic than she was to Eren.

"I can't complain," Levi shrugs. "Nothing new."

"Are you still working at that Smith place?" She asks, with a sort of face Levi can't describe other than bitter. A sort of half smile, but her nose is wrinkled in slight revulsion.

"Yeah," he ignores her tone. "Don't plan on changing that, either."

"Hmm, good for you." She coos. "So, I assume you're here for coffee, so will it be the usual?"

"Yeah!" Eren answers. "Do you still remember?"

"Oh, Eren, you doubt me." She feigns hurt, dramatically holding a hand over her heart as she pretends to sulk back behind the counter. "Of course I remember sweet cheeks. Connie!"

She slips into the back, and Levi takes the opportunity to steal Eren's attention back.

"So, _sweet cheeks_ , care to take a seat?" Levi asks.

"Sure," Eren chuckles.

It could be out of instinct, but they both drift to the same spot they always sat at in unison. A booth by the counter, but also close to the window. It was the only place they sat; it was practically reserved for just them.

Levi slips into one side, and he's almost disappointed they're not still _that_ annoying couple that sits beside one another at the booth.

"So, should we get to the point?" Eren interrupts that thought from even beginning. Silver orbs flicker up from his folded hands, to Eren staring him down from the other side with furrowed brows. "About last night, I mean."

"If that's what you want."

"I mean... there's not much to talk about it, but I feel like we need to get it out in the open." Eren sighs nasally. "You still have feelings for me."

"Mmhm." Levi looks back down at his hands. There's no point in denying that; especially not when he doesn't know how to hide it for shit. Instead he twirls his thumbs. He's prepared for the worst; nothing can hurt him... so he likes to think. Truthfully, his heart already aches, and it hasn't even begun. "What about it?"

"Just...," Eren rests his head on the back of the booth, sighing heavily. He closes his eyes for a few seconds before peeling them back open. "I'm with Jean now," their eyes lock, Levi must have appeared physically hurt, because Eren stops to swallow thickly. "Not to mention mom... there's just so much shit going on. I didn't want to come back here to start a love triangle."

"I understand." He says softly. Honestly, he does, but it still hurts.

"But, Levi-"

He's cut off by the eccentric Mr. Clean who plops the large cup down in front of Eren's face, and sets Levi's tea down. Connie holds his hands to his hips, and his brows are razor sharp with a look that leaves Eren speechless.

"Where the hell have you been?" Connie says angrily. Before Eren can open his mouth, the kid starts cracking up, and practically rips Eren out of the booth to give him a paralyzing embrace. Poor Eren won't have any bones intact after this. "Dude, I've missed the fuck out of you! Holy shit, when are you free? We need to chill!"

This is where Levi tunes out.

The rest of their trip is interrupted repeatedly by Sasha and Connie; neither of them can get a word out. Levi decides it's best to keep his mouth shut and browse through his phone. He wants Eren all to himself, hence the reason they came here, but he can't be selfish. It strikes odd that Eren never once brings his mother up to the couple, but he doesn't judge against it. Instead he texts Hanji silently, until the two admit they're tired and have to switch shifts soon with two other people.

There's not many people in the shop by this point anyway, only a few students with their laptops and two police officers chatting away in the corner.

By the time Eren has finished his coffee is around the time Sasha and Connie finally leave with promises to keep up with Eren before he leaves again.

"We should probably head back, too," Eren muses with his eyes on his phone. "Jean will be back in about an hour."

"Oh. Right."

More silence follows. This time it's heavier than before, because Levi no longer has the desire to speak, and Eren is either tired, or upset, because he rests his head on the window the whole drive back without moving or muttering a word. It isn't until they pull up to the hotel that Eren unbuckles his seat belt and asks a question that makes Levi want to puke on the spot.

"Do you want to come up?"

"What if Jean is there?" It's a genuine fear. He'd love to fight the punk, but not in front of Eren, and being there would just start a fight.

"So what? It's not like we're doing anything." Eren scoffs, swinging his door open.

This somehow convinces Levi and he promptly shuts off the car and hops out as well. Eren flashes him a smirk over his shoulder and wrinkles his nose while Levi follows suit up the stairs. Room 61, Levi notes to himself. Eren unlocks the door, and flips the lights on. There's a corner that Levi notices immediantly, and it's covered in junk and clothes with a suitcase underneath it.

He can already tell it's not Eren's things. Eren's things are tidied beside the bed, in a closed suitcase.

So the brat has gained some cleaning abilities.

"Maybe we can finish our conversation now," Eren breathes, kicking his shoes off and pulls the hoodie off along with it.

His abdomen becomes visible for only a second as his shirt comes up with it, and Levi instantly averts his gaze until he sees the glimmer of the same necklace from last night fall around Eren's perfect collarbones. He doesn't want to bring it up; maybe Eren just forgot he was still wearing it, and Levi didn't want to ruin it.

"Was there more to it?" Levi chuckles.

He shifts uncomfortably in the center of the room while Eren sits on the edge of the bed.

"Yes," he says quietly. Emerald meets silver for only seconds before breaking away, trailing off to stare at the floor. The brunet is contemplating something while chewing his bottom lip, before he looks up, sucking in a deep breath, "I want custody of both dogs."

"What?" Levi snorts. "Seriously?"

"No," Eren cracks a smile. He pats the spot beside him; signalling for Levi to join him. Cautiously, Levi does so, slowly. He kicks his shoes off once he's sat down, and makes sure to stay at least a foot away from Eren, although there's only so much space on the twin sized bed. "I just don't know how to say what I'm going to say next."

_You don't want to see me anymore, right?_

That had to be it. Oh God he could feel his stomach churning again.

_Think about something else; did Hanji clean up her mess? Did the dog vomit on the rug again? Did the power go out again? It was sprinkling._

To think about anything else than Eren hating him was a chore. It was impossible.

"What I really wanted to talk about...," Eren purses his lips, staring at his lilac colored socked feet draw designs into the carpet. "Well, I have a confession to make."

"What is it?" He asks almost too quickly.

"I have a dilemma." Eren sighs. "I kind of need your help."

"Uh huh?"

It's not only him who's nervous, Levi soon realizes. Eren is picking at his nails now, and his brows are furrowed, the same way Levi's are due to the pain in his gut. Eren is shaking his leg; it's making Levi all the more anxious. He stares at the brunet, waiting for something, anything. _Ask for money. Ask for help. Ask for anything._

It feels like hours before Eren finally looks up at him again.

Except, Eren isn't speaking, only staring back at him. Levi waits, patiently, feeling extremely the center of attention in a crowded room; except they're alone, all alone, and maybe that was the worst part. Maybe the worst part was that Levi couldn't take his eyes off of plump, rosy lips; or maybe it was worse that when he looked back up, Eren was staring at his.

It was Eren who closed the space between them. Cautiously, their foreheads pressed together, Levi tried to retaliate at first, but the moment he felt Eren's warm breath on his mouth, he instinctively cooperated. Their lips met slowly, softly, almost so gentle he was worried Eren would pull away any second; but the seconds went by, and Eren's lips only pressed harder against him, until their lips were sealed and he could taste faint chocolate lingering on Eren's tongue.

He held himself up with one hand, with the other tangled deep in chocolate locks, holding Eren there as if the brunet would fade away if he dared to even let go for a moment.

Oh fuck, his heart was pounding out of his chest. It's all he could hear anymore, there was bolts of electricity in his chest and all throughout his limbs. Numb; but a good numb. An overwhelming kind of senseless feeling where his brain shut down. The only thing he had ever done right was love Eren, but not even could he do that; he wouldn't let that chance slip away again.

_Don't stop._

It was Eren who had leaned him down against the bed; it was Eren who had both arms resting on each side of Levi's head, and it was Eren who trailed those kisses from his lips, leaving a trail of saliva as he kissed Levi's cheek, dragging his lips to the ravenet's jawline, down to his neck where he sunk his teeth and began sucking softly.

_You little shit..._

That's what he wanted to say. Instead he breathes a husky, " _Fuck_..." and digs his fingertips into the back of Eren's shirt. His body was heated from head to toe, he was an absolute writhing mess underneath Eren, practically digging his nails into the fabric until he was sure it would rip. His body ached to feel more of whatever the feeling was again.

_Please don't ever let this end again._

Eren pulls away, looking at Levi's craned neck, where the marking his left is as visible as day, and Levi realizes this when Eren smirks. The brunet bites his lip and rests his head against Levi's chest before letting out a trembling sigh. It sounded content, like a relief had been lifted off of his shoulders.

Levi wishes he could feel the same, but it comes crashing down around them when the door knob twists, and the sound of a key being inserted is heard.

Eren bolts up quickly with Levi to mimic, although Levi gets to his feet, attempting to look less guilty by waiting in the middle of the room. Eren is watching him; and it's too late that Levi realizes the brunet is absolutely pink in the cheeks. He wouldn't doubt if he is as well.

Time will tell; because the door swings open, and Jean comes through with a weary sigh and tosses a duffle bag down.

The blond opens his mouth to speak, but instantly locks eyes with Levi instead.

"Oh," is all Jean can say.

"I was just leaving, sorry," it pains Levi to be passive, but starting a fight in front of Eren is absolutely forbidden.

"Right," Jean doesn't seem convinced; and Levi knows they've been caught in a lie. What kind of ex is just _there_ at nearly midnight, both red in the face? "What have you two been up to?"

"We went out for coffee," Eren answers. "Levi needed to tell me that his mom was expecting me."

"A text wouldn't have worked for that?" Jean asks, then his face turns sour, "Why do you even talk to your exes parents?"

Great. A fight was starting; this was not going how Levi expected it. His head was still fuzzy from just having his tongue down this guy's boyfriend's throat minutes ago; his heart was still running on that adrenaline and worse now that they've practically been caught. Of course it doesn't take a genius to know, and Jean knows.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" The blond is directing this towards Levi now, who snaps back into reality.

"What?" He hisses, taken aback.

"First I find him wearing your shit, now you're just at our hotel while I'm not around," Jean sticks his waxy finger up, pointing it in his face. He looks to Eren however. "The fuck is that on his neck? You told me he was single, right?"

"Jean-" Eren stands to his feet.

"The fuck happened while I was gone?" Jean interrupts. "Do you think I'm dumb, Eren?"

"No, Jean, just calm down!"

"I fucking knew this would happen too," Jean continues. He takes a step forward, and Levi is already on high alert. He takes a step between them, while not trying to be too obvious. "You've been talking about him before we even got here."

"We kissed!" Eren exclaims, throwing his hands up. "I got caught up in everything; I kissed him, okay?"

"The fuck." Is all Jean can spit out.

Mentally, Levi waits for the 'I'm sorry' to follow afterwards. Eren always apologized, even for things he didn't do, just to avoid conflict like this. It would shove Levi back down into the dirt, but all the while the raven couldn't blame Eren for just apologizing to simmer this tense air down. Even if it did, Levi isn't so sure he feels comfortable leaving Eren alone now. It's a clusterfuck situation; how does it even get better at this point?

All he can do now is tighten his lips and stand between two hotheads and hope no punch is thrown.

It's eerily silent. Emerald eyes are stuck to the floor, and hazel orbs are glaring daggers at the both of them, to which Levi returns.

"Keep the hotel," Jean starts for his bag. Luckily Levi steps out of the way quick enough. "I'm going to rent another one."

Eren is silent, chewing on his lip, he sits back down on the edge of the bed and keeps his head turned from both of them. Never has Levi wondered so much what the brunet is thinking of.

It only takes Jean a minute to gather all of his things. He paces to the bathroom, shoving things into his suitcase and zips it up angrily. Levi stares at the back of chocolate hair, wishing he could read minds. Both of them ignore the angry blond spitting curses, bee lining the room and finally slamming the door so hard one of the cheap pictures falls off of the walls.

Silence makes it's unpleasant return.

"Why didn't you...," Levi inhales deeply, tumbling words over in his head before speaking. He closes his eyes before saying something incredibly stupid. "Why did you do that?"

"I don't know," comes an immediate, shaky response. If he could cry right now, he surely would. Instead he sinks his face into his hands. "I'm such a stupid fuck."

"No, you're not," Levi drifts cautiously to the edge of the bed, sitting down but keeping his hands to himself. "I... probably shouldn't have come up with you."

"I wanted to do it." Eren admits, shaking his head. "I would have done it either way."

It flatters him to say at the least; because it's all he wanted to hear. Sadly, it's not the time to show just how gleeful it makes him. He sulks his shoulders instead.

"Am I shitty person?" Eren asks.

"Far from it."

"Am I...," he chokes, swallows thickly and raises his head, keeping his eyes on the floor in front of him and hands over his mouth. "Am I a shitty person for wanting more, still?"

He hesitates for a dozen seconds, before answering softly, "No."

"Even if I'm cheating?" This time Eren looks at him, and it makes his heart lurch. "What if it were you?"

"I don't know, Eren," Levi's mouth is going dry just thinking about this. He'll have a heart attack before this night is resolved. Could that happen? A heart attack from bad nerves? "Given the situation... you know what I want. I just want you to do what you think is best."

"I don't know what's best."

He hums quietly in response. With a sigh, he asks, "Do you think Jean will forgive you?"

"I wouldn't doubt it." Eren scoffs. "He's done worse."

"Why stay with him, then?"

"I don't want to talk about it...," Eren groans into his hands, sinking back into them.

"I won't push it." Levi simply says. He overlooks the entire hotel, tossing and turning thoughts over and over in his head until they've all been checked and considered at least three times. He starts numerous times to try to speak, but each time he closes his mouth. Finally, he comes right out with it, closing his eyes tight as he asks, "Will you spend the night with me?"

His heart is pounding, his ears are ringing now and his hands would be shaking if they weren't folded and white knuckling one another. When Eren says nothing, he looks up slowly, tracing over every detail on Eren's face, in his eyes, staring back at him.

"One last night," Levi corrects. "And then you can never speak to me again if you want."

"One night?" Eren asks softly, wryly, with a slight smile on his face and eyes hooded. He snorts, shakes his head and sighs. "I... would really like that."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit. It's been a while. 
> 
> If you don't read my other fic Candy Mouth, then here's a few updates ~ I'll start by apologizing for being so shitty on updating this fic. Lately I've been balancing my career opportunities (torn between joining the police force or Air Force and I've got only 3 months left to decide) and classes. On top of that, just flat out writers block. If I ever get a minute to write I usually just stare at a blank document for 3 hours and give up. Other than that, I've just been traveling a lot and opening up some doors. 
> 
> For now I will try to update a lot more, but after these 3 months pass I have no idea what kind of shit hole my life might spiral into. I'm terrified of joining either, because the Air Force involves travel and I'd have to relocate, I'd be away from my laptop, but then you know... being a cop, I could die. So... there's that.
> 
> Enough of my internal debate. Someone just hack my head off.
> 
> Kidding. u u 
> 
> This chapter is moderately short, but the next chapter I will be back on track.
> 
> (I should be studying for my midterms...)

There were probably hearts in his eyes, and if it was as magical as it seemed, hearts should start floating over his head any minute now.

Sitting pretty on his kitchen counter was Eren, wearing one of Levi’s old, oversized t-shirts still covered in faded baby blue paint from when they’d painted their living room. With his legs crossed, his boxers rose dangerously high, but Levi was doing well so far not to stare.

Usually enjoying silence, Levi didn’t mind Eren talking his head off, a wine glass between his fingers and the red wine sloshing inside the crystal with every shake of laughter.

It was strange—it wasn’t what Levi imagined. His expectations were Eren crying, or even leaving in a burst of anger. Yet, they were in mid-conversation about the good times, when Eren’s mother would drag a raggedy homemade flame thrower into her kitchen just to toast her marshmallows before putting them in a neatly made cup of hot chocolate. Or the time she had fixed Levi’s flip-flops with a bread tie and super glue, and they ended up sticking to Levi’s feet at the beach.

In fact, the two of them laughed and drank so much, Levi thought he might puke if his ribs didn’t stop throbbing. Tears still lingered in his lashes from an old inside joke, and Eren’s cheeks were blushed.

Content, Levi had finished the garbage pile of snacks he had cooked, and Eren had pointed out how terrible of a chef he was. Avocado, eggs, and bacon all wrapped in a burnt tortilla. Eren always liked spicy foods, and Levi grimaced as Eren poured hot sauce into his.

Still, they hadn’t eaten in silence. They had barely eaten at all.

It tasted terrible, anyhow. Too bland. Levi didn’t know how to use spices without Eren.

The clock had chimed quietly that another hour had passed, making it nearly 5 in the morning, but neither of them seemed the least bit tired.

Leaving their plates of food with a mutual scowl and laughter, they returned to the living room eventually.

Still, Levi sat on the opposite side of the couch as Eren.

Finally, it had become silent, not because they’d run out of things to talk about. Staring at his wine glass, running his thumb along the edges, Levi had finally let his laughter die down, and sighed softly.

“What’s the matter?” Playfully, Eren scooted across the couch, patting Levi on the knee.

He tries to smile, but gives only a poor excuse of a breathy laugh. Maybe he was tired. It had to be it. But the thought of going to sleep pained him. He was paranoid. Eren would be gone by the time he woke up, and he didn’t want to return to reality.

Lack of communication was the reason they’d broken up, so no matter how much it hurts his pride to tell Eren just that, he takes a swig of wine and lets the word vomit pour.

“What are we doing, Eren?” Another sip. This would be easier if he were drunk. Finally, he looks at the brunet, shrugging with a sigh. “Like…,” another sigh, frustrated as he searches for the right words. “What is going to happen? With _us_?”

A moment of silence passes eerily. Already afraid he’s scared Eren off, Levi swallows thick, squeezing his glass slightly. For a moment he wishes it would bust so he could be rushed to the hospital and this whole ordeal was forgotten.

“I don’t know… I just… can’t we…,” Eren purses his lips, fingers twisting the hem of Levi’s shirt nervously. Emerald meets silver again with a soft sigh. “Can’t we just enjoy _this_? For now.”

Resting his head on the back of the sofa, Levi wants so badly to argue against that. There were so many factors that kept him from enjoying this moment. The shimmer of Eren’s necklace caught his eye, distracting him momentarily from Eren’s continuous eye contact.

Things were feeling hopeless between them again the more he thought about it. Felt like his body didn’t even want to cooperate with him, all it wanted to do was shut down and sleep finally.

For a moment he wondered if he hadn’t dozed off—Eren had taken his wine glass out of his hands. He must have been falling asleep, or else Eren thought he was.

Just as he was about to excuse himself, Eren was lifting his chin.

As soon as he saw how close Eren’s face was, everything seemed to go blurry, his hearing muffled. Certain that Eren asked, “Can I?” he nodded, unsure if he’d even heard him right. Could hear his heart pounding in his ears again, his hands tensing into fists on the sofa cushions, breath unsteady as Eren’s lips met his once again.

Maybe the little shit had a point; maybe he could just enjoy this for now.

Only did his reality come crashing down when all of his senses returned in time to hear the brunet mumble, “I do.... really... love you, Levi.”

His heart must have beat too hard—maybe it had stopped, along with time itself. Shell-shocked, Levi has no idea how long he sat there like a deer in headlights. The next thing he knew he was bolting from the sofa, to the bathroom to empty his stomach. Maybe he would be able to blame it on the wine—he’d drank too much. But Eren wasn’t that stupid.

Maybe Eren had drank too much.

But as much as he tried to convince himself that, he heaved every time those words repeated in his head. 

Eren had just made this ordeal a hundred times harder. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will explain in the next chapter. u u I needed to get my bearings on the story again.


End file.
